"Mike, can you please come to my office?" Those were among the first words I heard from Commander David Masiero when I first transferred to the Coast Guard Navigation Center in May of 2000. He was the Executive Officer and he was going to be my immediate supervisor for the foreseeable future. I had only been at the Center for about two or three days and I didn't really know him at all. But beng summonsed to his office in what seemed like immediate fashion, could only portend of a meeting in which I was going to be admonished, corrected, or otherwise told to straighten up and fly right. Wow. I had only been there a couple of days and now this. What could I have done?? Maybe I took too long at lunch. Maybe one of my uniform ribbons or my name tag was improperly placed. Maybe he didn't like the way my department was running and he was going to tell me to straighten it up or else. What could I have done???
So, I took a minute in my own office, tried to gather myself and then walked the corridor down to his office. It was kind of like that movie, The Green Mile, where the prisoners walk a long mile to their execution. Talk about anxiety...walkin' the mile, walkin' the mile, walkin' the mile... I arrived at his office, poked my head in, and knocked on the door: "Yes, sir?", I said. He replied very matter-of-factly, "Come on in. Close the door. Have a seat."
Well, that sealed the deal. When your boss tells you to come in and close the door behind you, he's generally not going to tell you you are getting recommended for the Medal of Honor.
I sat down, heart beginning to beat through my chest.
CDR Masiero was about 6'-4'', so even sitting down behind his humongous wooden desk, which seemed as wide and long as an aircraft carrier, I felt I was at a disadvantage, and when he leaned forward and slightly squinted his eyes in a very inquisitive manner, I knew without absolution that I was toast. Without hesitation, he said to me, "Mike...I heard you're a Dallas Cowboys fan...how do you think they're gonna do next year?" I said, "Excuse me, sir?", dropping my head slightly as if to convey misunderstanding. He then said, "Do you think Jerry Jones is a good owner...I mean, doesn't he meddle a little too much with the team? Why do you think he really fired Jimmy Johnson?"
It's a good thing the chair had an arm rest, because had it not, I would have been on the floor in astonishment. Are you kidding me? You called me into your office to ask me about the Dallas freakin' Cowboys? What is this, some kinda trick? Yeah, I love the Cowboys, but is this really what you wanna talk about?
Honestly, I can't even remember what I told him. All I really know is this: he didn't admonished me. He didn't yell at me. He didn't tell me I was a hopeless bum. Nor did he have me executed by electric chair or firing squad. And to this day, he and I still talk about sports and life. We talk about the NBA, MLB, NCAA, our college-age daughters, the Sopranos (he loves that Italian mob stuff, but with a name like Masiero, can you blame him?), and yes, even the Dallas Cowboys.
So what does this all mean in terms of what we can learn and from that which we can improve? Well, think about the implied communications and the perceptions that are involved when a person in power or of authority summonses a person of lesser power and authority to his/her presence. The implication and perception is that the person that is lower on the ladder is in trouble. Just the other day, both of my daughters shocked me when they told me that when I call them downstairs into my man-cave, they think they are in trouble. I had no idea I was giving off that perception! I thought that they would think that I just wanted to talk to them to see how their day was going or to learn what they were up to. But, they said they always start wondering what they have done wrong and they feel great anxiety and trepidation! This was actually shocking to me, but given my own experience with CDR Masiero, it probably shouldn't have been.
What you have to learn is this: when you are in a position of authority or power, you have to be acutely aware of how you are perceived. You're the boss. When you call someone to your office, cubicle, space, whatever, there will almost always be an automatic perception of potential trouble. You have to be able to communicate verbally or non-verbally that there really are no problems at hand before the person comes to your space. This is very, very critical to how you handle issues, so be very attentive to it. No matter how you think you are perceived, you are probably incorrect. You are likely being perceived as if you are going to be upset, angry, or handing out trouble. Be very attentive to this when you call your children, also! They are even more perceptible to this problem!
Secondly, when we are in a subordinate position, we should not jump to conclusions. There really was no reason for me to think that my boss was gonna chew my butt. Of course, all it takes is one bad experience of being called into your boss's office and having your head handed to you for you to relate all instances of being called into the office with future trouble. Obviously, this is not always the case. Just be aware that trouble is not always at hand because even the boss is probably not as educated as you are now about the importance of explicit communication when you call someone to your space. Believe it or not, sometimes the boss just wants the scoop on the Dallas Cowboys.
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