In Patterns We Trust

Have you ever had someone smile at you and you just knew they were faking happiness? Did you ever wonder how you "just knew" they were faking it? Don't tell me you can read minds. Maybe faces, but not minds.

The fact is, when we smile in earnest, we move certain muscles of our faces every time, and in the same manner. When we fake a smile, we move different muscles. Because we are intelligent beings (or at least we are supposed to be), we have the ability to recognize these facial muscle patterns. Our brain is built to recognize patterns really well. So when when we are young, we learn the facial pattern of a true, happy smile. We aren't even cognizant of the fact that there are over 3,000 various muscle movements possible with our faces, which make up all sorts of expressions. We just know the pattern of a true smile. We aren't even sure what that pattern is - we could not express it in words or in writing - we just know. This is called subconscious data analysis and decision making.

Subconscious decision making occurs all the time in your life, but because it is being conducted subconsciously, you are not even aware of it. Consider how you know when someone is lying to you. How do you think you do this? Do you think you have some sort of crystal ball enabling you to see into someone? Nope. What is happening is that you are subconsciously making a decision based upon the data given to you - the circumstances, the actions, the voice, the eyes, everything - that the person is doing when he or she is talking to you. You don't consciously say, "This jerk is lying to me because he is looking all around and not directly at me, and also because his voice cracked once." No, somehow, you just KNOW he or she is lying to you.  It's the way our brain works. It's one of the things that makes us superior beings over hippos and giraffes and rattlesnakes. We recognize patterns.

So, knowing all of this, how can you be better? TRUST YOURSELF, that's how. You see, what happens to a lot of people (especially numskulls and knuckleheads like me that consider themselves "analysts") is that we observe a situation and we come to an initial conclusion based on our experience and the patterns we have observed throughout our lives. Then, we over-think situations and we "level" ourselves. ("Leveling" is a term that is used to mean that we think on more than one level).

For example, let's say we see a good friend that we see often and we initially think, "Geez, something is wrong with her...I can't put my finger on it, but she isn't right today." Then we start to think, "Well, if something was REALLY wrong, she would have told me because we are good friends." Guess what? You just leveled yourself! Your subconscious recognized a missing pattern - a pattern in your friend's demeanor that is indicative of happiness or contentedness. You had it right! But then, you started thinking on another level and you consciously analyzed data that did not tell you the true story! You started thinking either about obvious data ("she would have told me") or about what SHE was thinking, which are on different levels than what your subconscious pattern matching skill is telling you. The data that "she would have told me if something was wrong" is both speculative and dubious compared to the unbelievable power of your subconscious pattern recognition, and so is trying to think about what she is thinking. Don't level yourself! Life is, in general, not nearly this complex!

How many times has it happened that you made an incorrect decision and afterwards, you said, "I KNEW I SHOULDA DONE THE OTHER THING!"?

You had it right! You had it right! And you blew it! This is the most frustrating type of mistake we can possibly make.  We had the answer - no, we KNEW the answer - and we screwed it all up!  As I used to joke to a good friend when he would make this sort of mistake, "It's time to go kick the dog!".  (Just a joke, dog lovers, just a joke.)

This is what El Entrenador wants you to do: become conscious of your subconscious decisions - especially when you are doing something in which you have a lot of experience! When you are doing something in which you have a lot of experience, be very aware that your experience will carry the day in terms of decision making. You will improve your life TEN-FOLD, maybe ONE HUNDRED-FOLD if you learn to follow your subconscious, experience-generated, pattern-recognition decisions. Then - and this I guarantee - you won't be faking any smiles.